THE TWEENAGE YEARS

This article " The Tweenage Years ” is a dapted from ‘Tween Ages by Focus on Your Child’ and reprinted with permission from Focus on the Family Singapore. We would like to thank Focus on the Family Singapore Ltd ( www.family.org.sg ) for contributing this article.

Tweenagers – a currently fashionable marketing term for pre-teens, between 7 and 11. They are more worldly-wise, fashion-conscious and media-aware than children of this age used to be, and are growing up faster. Kids at this age are articulate, confident and fun-loving and at best; still fairly unaffected by the hormonal angst of the rebellious teenager!

Being a parent to tweenagers is the most wonderful privilege and the most daunting task as well. Stretched beyond more than what you’ve attempted before, you have a huge task ahead. The kid before you still has that sense of wonderment and interest in what you have to impart. They appreciate your hugs and kisses and thrive on your affirmations and encouragement. You can still direct their routines and plant suggestions along their way without meeting much resistance. In short, it can be most rewarding and fulfilling experience if you put in effort – loads of it!

This is also a critical age when the parent can set the foundation of his growing years right. The child is now able to tap on his increasing maturity to understand his emotions and empathise with others. He is fairly adept at analyzing hypothetical situations and hence you can seek his opinion on what is right and wrong. Likewise, he is able to choose an appropriate course of action based on logic and moral understanding without childish wilfulness.

Try these tips in discussing tough topics with your tween:

  • Let tweens start the talk
  • Encourage them to ask questions
  • Don’t lecture
  • Don’t simplify
  • Tell the truth
  • Listen to what tweens are asking
  • Address only what is asked
  • Wait for them to form more questions
  • Guide them through emotions
  • Let tweens know that you’re always there to listen and talk

Remember that you’ll never be the perfect parent and tweenagers aren’t standard issues that are neatly packaged into clean, compliant and ace students. There are no short cuts to being a good parent nor is there a secret formula that spells successful kids. In short, parenting is about hard work, perseverance and determination and above all – unconditional love.